DAF leaders and spouses underscore families’ vital role in mission success

Top leaders of the Air Force and Space Force used the Air & Space Forces Association’s 2026 Air, Space & Cyber Conference on Sept. 16 to argue that family well-being is inseparable from military effectiveness, returning repeatedly to the idea that “Readiness begins at home.”

The panel brought together Chief of Staff of the Air Force Gen. Ken Wilsbach and his wife, Cindy; Chief of Space Operations Gen. Douglas Schiess and his wife, Debbie; Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force David Wolfe and his wife, Dr. Doniel Wolfe; and Chief Master Sergeant of the Space Force John Bentivegna and his wife, Cathy. Retired Lt. Gen. Burt Field, AFA’s president and CEO, moderated the discussion.

Reflecting on four decades in uniform and 26 moves with his family, Wilsbach said the demands of leadership evolved alongside his responsibilities. “When you start out earlier in your career, you’re very focused on the mission,” he said. “As I’ve gained rank and responsibility, the people piece really expands.”

Cindy Wilsbach recalled a 2009 visit with deployed spouses at Kadena Air Base to underline how families often surface needs commanders might miss. “After watching the interaction, I knew she wasn’t fine, so I stepped back and said, ‘is everything okay’, and it wasn’t okay. She had a child with a health problem and was far away from family,” she recounted. “That shows me the value of what I bring to this table. I sometimes see things, and I’m told things that he’s not.”

Cathy Bentivegna framed deployments and home-front responsibilities as a shared enterprise. “All our family members are part of a team. When John gets deployed, that’s his away game and he’s busy taking care of his away game family,” said Mrs. Bentivegna. “But the other teammates are still at home with roles to play. We still have our own goals, and in order to keep a successful team, we have to have good communication. We have to understand the mission, what’s going on, and keep everyone, especially our kids, involved to feel part of the team.”

Dr. Doniel Wolfe emphasized day-to-day empathy as a force multiplier for community health. “If you treat everybody you meet as if they are going through some big trouble in their life, more than half the time you’ll be right.” She encouraged making a simple “hello” part of daily routine.

Panelists linked family stability directly to mission focus for Airmen and Guardians. Schiess noted the distinct challenges facing many Space Force personnel who are employed in place rather than rotating frequently. Debbie Schiess said transparency—when possible—helps spouses carry the load. “I learned early on that if I understand ‘the why,’ then I can invest more and I can support better as a spouse,” said Mrs. Schiess. “And so, taking the time to fill me in, even if he can’t give me the details, to say, ‘there’s something big going on at work and stress levels are high.’ Those kind of pieces of information help me to better support him, and I encourage other military members to do the same.”

The spouses said they also participate in the Military Spouse Commission, which advises the president on policies affecting military spouses and families.

Asked what they would tell those just starting their military journeys, panelists urged newcomers and their partners to seize growth opportunities, invest in relationships, approach service as a family commitment, and build habits around fitness, finances and emotional resilience. They also encouraged understanding the “why” behind the mission and practicing everyday connection.

Chief Master Sergeant of the Space Force John Bentivegna closed with a reminder about priorities. “You have to really embrace the preciousness of time because you can’t get it back,” said Chief Bentivegna. “We’re always focusing on that next assignment, next rotation, or the next deployment. You think, ‘I’ve got plenty of time to focus on my finances, education, family, relationships … but you can’t get that time back. Make the most of it.”